Friends and whanau barely waited for the ink to dry on our marriage certificate before they asked us when we were going to have a baby. We were really keen and everybody knew it, but we waited a few months before travelling down that terrifying, unpredictable road. My biggest fear was that we would have trouble having a baby, but we were lucky and had Henry Bear without any worries.
We didn’t give our loved ones a chance to ask about baby number two, because Annie May was on the way before we could even make a plan to expand the family. Now our lovely little surprise is 18 months old and people are starting to ask: “Are you done?”
So, are we? Yip. For sure. Oh hell yes! Definitely. Without a doubt. Done, done, done. Done and dusted. Where’s all that info I printed off about vasectomies?
Just as having a baby is a huge decision, deciding when to stop is a biggie. So how do I know for sure? What makes me 100% certain I don’t want to go down that road again? I just know that I am done.
I’m done because I feel so lucky to have two healthy kids who have changed my life and made me whole. I’m done because I’m ready to get some sleep. I’m done because I love every new stage they go through, even if Henry’s latest one involves farting on us and giggling. I’m done because every time they learn a new word, or how to count to a new number, I’m proud as punch and it’s just as wonderful as the teeny tiny baby stage.
I’m done because you have to stop somewhere and part of every mum will always long for that newborn smell and those endless cuddles. I’m done because when my kids hug me these days, it involves a run up with the widest smiles and they knock me over with their enthusiasm. I’m done because their wacky personalities make me laugh every day. I’m done because I can’t wait for them to dress themselves, brush their own teeth adequately and put on their own damn sunscreen!
I’m done because I can’t wait for family trips to museums and riding bikes together and watching them learn a new sport. I’m done because I can’t wait to read them all my favourite books and show them my favourite movies. I’m done because I’ll always love them like babies no matter how big they get.
I know lots of people with three kids and more, and they are happy embracing the madness, as we all are. I really admire people who have more kids and I know that more kids = more love, but for us two is just right. Besides, after giving birth to two babies, I reckon it’s the husband’s turn for a bit of pain, all in the name of family planning!