How this stay-at-home mum stays sane and has fun one day at a time.

All by myself

I have a story that will make lots of mums a little green with envy. One of my very smart friends, who shall remain nameless but could be called The Genius, booked herself in for a “mother’s retreat” last weekend. After a stressful few months adjusting to her husband travelling for work, she decided to take a few days up north, ALL BY HERSELF.

Last week, The Genius was telling our mums’ group about her plans with a dreamy look in her eye. We all went a bit star-eyed I think, as we floated off into our dream weekend away without kids. As she described the pure joy she would feel when she made a ‘reservation for one,’ I was nodding madly and thinking that some mums are just WINNING AT LIFE!

What would you do if you were given a “hall pass” from parenting? I’ve come up with my Top Three and they make me happy just thinking about them:

1. Sleep! Before I had kids, I was a ‘get up and go’ type of person who thought “you can sleep when you’re dead”. I hated the idea of missing part of a potentially awesome day. Now? I could sleep for a whole day and not feel a smidgen of guilt – if only! I have been tired for three years, have set an alarm twice in the whole time I’ve been a parent. Bring on the glorious sleep! That would be day one done.

2. Breakfast! I’ve had a morning routine with two kids for 17 months now, yet it never gets any easier. I’m like an English football coach at a game who’s too stressed to sit down and just paces the sideline. Most days I leave the house in an absolute flap and about 30 minutes later I wonder why I feel ill, only to realise I forgot to have breakfast. If I’m lucky enough to wolf down some Weetbix, I do it standing up, barking orders, repeating orders and biffing half of it in the bin. So second on my list would be a long, leisurely breakfast where I read the paper, sip coffee and appreciate the serenity.

3. Read! I read a small percentage of the books I used to before my babies were born. I used to read books which required a few brain cells, but nowadays they’re all basic, formulaic chick lit. He is ALWAYS cheating on her and she ALWAYS ends up with the nice guy who seemed so unattainable. My weekend retreat would involve many hours of sitting in a pool with a jolly good book or two. And a cocktail. I’d need to have a few cocktails.


10 Responses to “All by myself”

  1. Jamie

    I would go shopping by myself for myself, and buy something very impractical too! Then I’d eat a whole family size choc bar each day then finish it off with a coffee in a cup, not a takeaway cup.

  2. Ange - Tall, Short, Tiny & a Pickle

    Most of the mums I know (who all love their children dearly) salivate at the idea of just one night away, no husband, no kids. Imagine how quiet it would be! Your three things are the things I’d do, too. One day….. x

    • kellyburnie

      So very true. I drive away like I’m on Thelma and Louise when I get to go to the shops by myself at the weekends.

    • kellyburnie

      The quiet would just be blissful wouldn’t it. Wonder how long it would take me to miss the chatter though 😉

  3. Amanda Peart

    I think about this sometimes and I only have one kid! I would definitely read! I’d sleep in a bit, read a bit, go for a walk to a nice cafe with my book and read and drink coffee for as long as I wanted without a toddler cutting it short. And I’d go to a movie that my husband doesn’t want to see (it would be raining for this bit so I don’t feel bad). And I have lots of money in this dream too so I’d stay at the Langham and drink a cocktail by the pool (it’s sunny again and daylight saving).

    • kellyburnie

      I love that you added lots of money, definitely a requirement when dreaming of such things!

  4. Kirsty Mackintosh

    Its interesting reading, I’m a bit torn though as I hate being away from Hannah, but then again working full time I don’t get to see her as much as I would like anyway. I don’t long for time on my own – maybe I need some help!! Haha Must be so much harder for full time mums.

    • kellyburnie

      True, there is always another perspective! I don’t feel like I need to be away from my kids much either, but one weekend would be great.

  5. Adele Bryson

    Oh I can gloat and say I did this when Finn was a little over a year old with a girlfriend who is also a mum and we went to the lost springs in whitianga and got pampered and drank cocktails, read books etc…it was lovely and surreal and I missed Finn like a mad thing….but good for me to miss him too weirdly. Highly recommend it if you can splurge on stuff to distract yourself. Thinking now in a year or 2 with two mucnhkins it might become a necessary plan of action. I actually would just love to go to our family bach and read and sleep too but oh a pool or spa would be bliss ALL BY MYSELF!!! Arggh the idea of swimming without a toddler hanging off me sounds like heaven!


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